Coming to terms with having abused her kids

A professional therapist will hear your story, told in the way only you can tell it. You should encourage your daughter to join you. Ideally, this process would lead you toward a real, deep and honest reconciliation with your daughter. Yes, it's her responsibility to come to terms with her own life, but you are her mother, you were her abuser, and now you should work on healing yourself so you can help her.