DEAR AMY: My wife and I have been married for 27 years and are still deeply in love with each other. She has had a best female friend for the last 20 years. The two women have planned to have a girls' week away soon; the husbands will join them for an additional week, so it will be the four of us. Over the years I have always sensed that the other husband, "Jasper," had a thing for my wife, but I've let it go. Recently the four of us went out. At one point my wife and Jasper were alone at the table. He made some comments about her appearance, revealed his feelings for her and took her hand and placed it on his upper thigh. He said they should be together. When I returned I sensed that something was wrong, but at that moment I left it alone. My wife and I discussed it the next day, and she wants me to "let it go." So here is the dilemma: The ladies are still going on their trip, but I'm not sure I can travel with them and then spend a week with this so-called friend. I seriously doubt that I can trust him anymore. Do I confront him and put all my cards on the table? Do I simply let the ladies go on their trip and the guys stay home? Or would it be wisest to keep my silence, join them on the trip and watch him like a hawk? 
 --Unsure 
 DEAR UNSURE: I can understand why your wife wants you to perpetually leave things alone, but she doesn't get to decide how you should react when someone crosses a line and interferes with your relationship. "Jasper's" actions have a profound impact on you, and you should confront him. 
 Depending on his reaction to this confrontation, I could imagine it clearing the air and then being able to resume a friendship (after some extreme awkwardness). 
 Either way, if he decides to go on this trip, you should go too. At this point, watching him like a hawk is definitely called for.

DEAR AMY: My wife and I have been married for 27 years and are still deeply in love with each other. She has had a best female friend for the last 20 years. The two women have planned to have a girls' week away soon; the husbands will join them for an additional week, so it will be the four of us. Over the years I have always sensed that the other husband, "Jasper," had a thing for my wife, but I've let it go. Recently the four of us went out. At one point my wife and Jasper were alone at the table. He made some comments about her appearance, revealed his feelings for her and took her hand and placed it on his upper thigh. He said they should be together. When I returned I sensed that something was wrong, but at that moment I left it alone. My wife and I discussed it the next day, and she wants me to "let it go." So here is the dilemma: The ladies are still going on their trip, but I'm not sure I can travel with them and then spend a week with this so-called friend. I seriously doubt that I can trust him anymore. Do I confront him and put all my cards on the table? Do I simply let the ladies go on their trip and the guys stay home? Or would it be wisest to keep my silence, join them on the trip and watch him like a hawk? --Unsure DEAR UNSURE: I can understand why your wife wants you to perpetually leave things alone, but she doesn't get to decide how you should react when someone crosses a line and interferes with your relationship. "Jasper's" actions have a profound impact on you, and you should confront him. Depending on his reaction to this confrontation, I could imagine it clearing the air and then being able to resume a friendship (after some extreme awkwardness). Either way, if he decides to go on this trip, you should go too. At this point, watching him like a hawk is definitely called for.

News

LSAMY28

Confront man who put the moves on your wife

Newsday

Homepage Trending

Cyclospora: How to protect yourself

FeedMe Magazine

Summer Fun Book

NEWSDAY TV SHORTS

Vertical videos

NewsdayTV's Doug Geed takes us out to East Hampton, where an old farm turned arts center hosts community events.

Out East: Duck Creek Arts Center

Matthew Smith sentenced to up to 22 years in prison for drunken-driving crash that killed Nassau County Police Officer Patricia Espinosa. NewsdayTV's Virginia Huie has more.

Man who drove drunk and killed Nassau police officer gets up to 22 years in prison

From pizza to clams, Newsday food writer Andi Berlin visits two restaurants that are on the way to Northwell at Jones Beach Theater.

Eats en route to Jones Beach

Former Holy Trinity lineman Lance Swift spoke with Newsday high school sports reporter Jared Valluzzi after the Titans suspended their football program.

Former Holy Trinity lineman reflects on football program suspension

As boaters set out on the water this summer, they will be paying more at the pump. NewsdayTV's Virginia Huie reports.

Boaters feeling the pinch at the pump 

NewsdayTV's Marie Elena Martinez got a sneak peek at the new Babylon Whiskey Down Diner location, which is currently under construction with plans to open in the fall.

Take a peek inside Whiskey Down Diner's new location

The Manor of St. George is one of the most serene spots on the Island. But on one night in 1780, it was the scene of a bloody battle, NewsdayTV's Doug Geed reports.

America 250: Battle of the Manor of St. George

NewsdayTV's Ken Buffa visited Garcia's Taco Bar in Brentwood to try their birria ramen.

Trendy Bites: Birria ramen

For a quick trip not far from home, NewsdayTV's Elisa DiStefano checks out the Rockaway Hotel.

A getaway close to home for mom

An arbitrator detailed ex-officer George Trimigliozzi's poor job performance before his high-profile criminal case. NewsdayTV's Virginia Huie and Newsday investigative reporter Jim Baumbach has more.

Suffolk brothel cop repeatedly ignored emergency calls before indictment

<a href="https://www.newsday.com/video/newsdaytv-top-stories">Get more on these and other NewsdayTV stories</a>

Newsday TV

NewsdayTV Top Item

State to limit kids' screen time? ... Emotional reunion with liver donor ... Out East: Duck Creek Arts Center ... Look ahead at the weather ... Get the latest news and more great videos at NewsdayTV

State to limit kids' screen time? ... Emotional reunion with liver donor ... Out East: Duck Creek Arts Center ... Look ahead at the weather

News - megaslot

Newsday has the most up-to-date stories on Long Island & NTC. Join us & stay current with news articles on sports, business, health, technology & more.

Stay logged in.