Considerately keeping long-distance eye on parent

DEAR AMY: My 83-year-old widowed mother and I were having our weekly phone conversation last night (I live in California; she's in New York) when she began to repeat herself over and over - more than a dozen times. I kept asking her, "Why are you repeating yourself?" My mother's cognitive skills are exceptional, and this odd behavior had me worried. She had earlier complained about how hot it was, and I suspected the heat may have contributed to her problem. I asked her if she was feeling OK, and she said she was fine, but again she began to repeat herself. I told her I would call her back then tried to contact my sister, who lives 20 minutes away. No luck.

I called my brother and asked him to call mom. He spoke with her, then called me back, agreeing she sounded strange. I called 911. An ambulance went to the house. The EMTs examined her and found nothing wrong. Now she refuses to speak with me. She says I humiliated her. She lives alone and I couldn't reach anyone, so I decided to send help. I worried that she might be having a stroke. Now my brother and sister say I overreacted. Amy, what do you think?A Very Concerned Son

DEAR CONCERNED: You did the right thing. Your mother is embarrassed, but there are far worse fates than a little embarrassment - such as not getting help upon suffering a stroke.

Something was wrong with your mother, and she should follow up with her doctor. Work with your siblings and your mother on making some small changes so she can continue to live safely at home.

Look into a monitoring service. For a monthly fee, she can have an intercom installed onto her phone line and a "panic" button. This adds another set of ears, another entity in the chain of contact and another person available to try to assess her needs. You also should add a couple of neighbors to your contact list.