Coparenting leaves little room for pal's jealousy

DEAR AMY: I was married for 17 years and have been divorced for a year. I have been dating somebody for the better part of a year. My ex and I are on friendly terms because we have a son together. She calls me to discuss our son. My girlfriend says my ex is still trying to control me, but I feel my girlfriend is jealous. My girlfriend and I went away for a weekend and the ex was calling to give me updates about my pets because I had nobody else to watch them. My girlfriend's kids kept calling all weekend, but I understood because they had not been without her for an extended time. I love this girlfriend, but we seem to fight regularly. She also criticizes my son all the time. How do I get her to understand the ex will be in the picture as co-parent to my son? I thought I had established a boundary with the ex, or haven't I?Thoroughly Confused

DEAR CONFUSED: Your ex checking in with you repeatedly to give you updates about your pets while you are away on a romantic weekend is a bit much.

If your son was calling to talk to you, that would be one thing. My instinct is that while your girlfriend might be right, your girlfriend will still have to go.

Why? Because she is mean to your kid.

That's a deal-breaker.

DEAR AMY: We live in a quiet neighborhood. We have some wacky neighbors across the street who would occasionally smoke some marijuana. We tolerated the smell, because it did not happen too often, but their backyard is now frequently a horrendous haze of smoke and stench. My husband is going nuts, as he is a federal agent. What do you think we should do?Worried Neighbor

DEAR WORRIED: Get the police involved and ask them to keep an eye on the street.

If you wait, it will be more entrenched and harder to stop.