Daughter, 30, doesn't have her act together

DEAR AMY: My daughter is 30. She moved 2,000 miles away with her now ex-boyfriend and has bad credit. Six years ago, my husband and I bought a one-bedroom condominium for her to live in. She promised to pay rent. Three years ago, we bought her a used car. We send her money for Christmas and on her birthdays. She has never paid us rent and we don't pressure her for it. She told me she only works part-time. Two years ago, I found out she was using marijuana. I asked her to stop, but she said it helps with her depression. The only thing she wants from me is money. Last month I found out she rented out the condo to a friend. She used that money to move to a place that allowed pets (she has two dogs). She told me she had to move because she was depressed and did not get along with a neighbor. She said she cannot afford to pay her rent. She is begging me to bail her out. What more can I do?Kaycee

DEAR KAYCEE: So far you have enabled your depressed daughter to live a very marginal life, with no prospects for change as long as you supply her with enough money.

You should go out to visit her and help her come up with a completely different course of action - one that divests you of financial support.

It is hard to watch someone founder. But it is worse to actually help her fail. Tell her that from now on, you'll give her love and emotional support, but no more cash.

DEAR AMY: "Grandma" wondered whether it was right for a young friend to pressure her daughter for baby equipment and clothes. You suggested Craigslist and Freecycle as good resources for used baby stuff, but you forgot about garage sales!Frugal

DEAR FRUGAL: Garage sales are a great source for household goodies. Thank you.