Do your fiancee a favor and break it off

DEAR AMY: I am a 53-year-old male engaged to a wonderful woman several years younger. We have been together for more than six years, and I love her. She is honest, sweet and attractive, and she has a goodness few others possess. Even though I love her, I am not sure I am in love with her. We have not been intimate for a long time, because I just do not feel that way about her. I have sought and found intimacy with others. These women were just fulfilling a need. About a year ago, I met someone with whom I became involved. She knows about my fiancee and has pressured me to break off the engagement. I cannot find the way to end it because I know it would devastate my fiancee. She is too kind and sweet to be hurt in that way. We have talked about us not being intimate. I make excuses such as made-up medical problems. How should I handle this situation?

--Perplexed in Pittsburgh

DEAR PERPLEXED: There is an old saying: "The truth will set you free." Well, in this case, the truth will set your fiancee free.

Tell her "I don't deserve you. I know that people often say that, but in this case, it's really true. I really don't deserve you."

Apologize to her and tell her everything.

She may wish to be tested for STDs.

DEAR AMY: My next-door neighbors are very nice. However, the woman is constantly watching the comings and goings of my family. She has made mention of the time the lights go out at our house each night. I find myself closing the blinds and feeling a bit creeped out. Any suggestions?

--A Private Person

DEAR PRIVATE: You should tell your neighbor, very honestly, "It's great to have a neighbor who pays attention, but I'm not used to scrutiny and really don't like it."