Don't encourage underage drinking

DEAR AMY: My 20-year-old son lives with me. He's a great person with a ton of friends who are apparently still in the college-drinking mode. I recently talked to my son about what I feel was a little too much drinking when I found some beer in his room. I told him I do not want him to bring alcohol into our house anymore. So far, he and his friends never drink and drive. They take public transportation, cabs or ask for rides. The other day, he asked if I would give him a ride to his friends' place so he could drink. I told him that if he only had two drinks over several hours, that not only could he still have fun but also that he could, after a few more hours, drive home. But this answer was not good enough for him, and my sister offered to take him. What say do I have in my son's drinking and did my sister usurp my authority?Confused MomDEAR CONFUSED: The last time I checked, it is still illegal for 20-year-olds to consume alcohol. Not only are you not actually discouraging your son from drinking, you are tacitly encouraging him to drink -- and to drink and drive.

Your suggestion that he should consume two drinks slowly and then he'd be fine to drive is irresponsible. You should assume that your version of what constitutes a drink portion is vastly different from your son's.

Your sister may have stepped over your already tipsy authority when she agreed to be your son's taxi service, though this was preferable to your suggestion that he drive himself. And it is your son's right to secure a ride from anyone who offers.

Your son has an awareness of the impact of drunkenness on his ability to navigate in his world. How important is alcohol to his social life? Ask him. Urge him to continue to be discerning. Tell him you do not want him drinking -- at home or away from home -- until it is legal to do so. After he turns 21, continue to urge moderation.