Don't fall prey to sister's family feud

DEAR AMY: I come from a family of seven children. About six months ago, my sister "Janet" kicked four of her siblings, including me, out of her life. Janet has two children, ages 15 and 18, whom I love dearly. This summer, I'm having a graduation party for my son and don't know what to do about inviting my niece and nephew. Amy, can you give me some guidance? Do I send an invitation with just their names on it? Or should I invite my sister as well, since she still seems to want to have a relationship with my children? My son is fine with however I want to handle it, but I really can't decide what to do. This party will be held at another sister's house (whom Janet also kicked out of her life), and she is fine with whatever I do. I don't want drama on my son's special day! How should I handle this and similar situations in the future? It makes even sending a Christmas card complicated!

Confused Sis

DEAR CONFUSED: Your sister kicked you out of her life. But that doesn't mean you have to kick her out of yours.

You can't control her choices or behavior.

You can only make your own choices, based on what you want.

Because you love her children and want to try to stay in their lives, you should invite them to this event. Because your sister is their mother and most likely controls their transportation and social calendar, you should include her, too.

If she attends this event to try to stay close to your son, then good for her. This might be the beginning of a reconciliation.

Don't worry about drama disrupting the party.

It takes at least two people to pitch a good drama. If you decide ahead of time to be cordial, kind and focused on the celebration, your sister's attempts at theatrics won't find an audience.