Dreading invite to deceased sis' husband

DEAR AMY: I am stressing over a holiday invitation for the husband of my deceased sister. We lost our sister this year, and with the holidays approaching I do not know how to handle the yearly invite with a person nobody in the family likes. He is rude, manipulative and bad-mouths all of us constantly and wants to bring a buddy. What should I do? Unappreciated In-law

DEAR UNAPPRECIATED: You should include your brother-in-law this year. Tell him you'd rather he not bring a buddy and review invites in the future.

DEAR AMY: I'm an amateur baker. I can make and decorate a beautiful wedding cake. I only make one version, but I can customize it with real or silk flowers. I've made quite a few for friends over the years. I tell people upfront I only make this particular cake, and I never charge for it. It is my gift. My best friend's oldest daughter is getting married. They are assuming I will make the wedding cake. I told them that if they wanted anything other than the one cake I can make, they should go to a professional baker. Last week my friend and her daughter brought me a picture of the cake they want. It is completely different from the one I can make. I told her I didn't think I could make the cake, and she got really mad. She hissed, "It can't possibly be that hard. If you can make one cake, you can make another." My husband said it's ridiculous for me to put in all that time and money. I don't want to lose my friendship, but I'm so discouraged I don't want to make cakes anymore. Stressed Kentucky Baker

DEAR STRESSED: Your friend is behaving like a full-out Momzilla. You have to be very firm. You say, "I know for absolutely certain that I can't make this cake for you. If I try it, it will be a disaster, and you don't want that. You really need to go to a professional."