Dreading thoughtless din on long flight

DEAR AMY: While on a flight from Europe recently, passengers across the aisle from us talked loudly and laughed for five of the seven hours of the flight. Other friends of theirs stood in the aisle and contributed to the "fun," blocking my view of the overhead video. The laughter and chatter could not be drowned out by my earphones. Reading was impossible. We will be taking a 15-hour flight soon, and I am already anxious about again being subjected to this thoughtless behavior. Other than spending $400 for noise abatement earphones, is there a polite way one could approach loud talkers to explain that their voices are driving me to distraction?Nervous Flier

DEAR NERVOUS: Tolerating something you find intolerable for five hours without even attempting to do something about it doesn't make you a tolerant person -- it makes you a doormat. The polite way to approach bothersome people is to imagine how you would like to be approached if the situation were reversed.

You can say, "Excuse me but could you please lower your voices -- and do you think you could find a seat so I can see the monitor?" The background noise on airplanes sometimes tempts people to speak loudly because they can't actually hear themselves. At least that was my excuse on a recent flight when a fellow passenger asked me and my seatmate to please talk more quietly. We complied and apologized.

DEAR AMY: "Stressed Out Bride" worried about inviting a co-worker who is a problem drinker to her wedding. I faced this, too -- only the "problems" were my parents! I solved this by not serving alcohol at my wedding. We all had a great time, and nobody missed the booze in the slightest. Smart Bride

DEAR SMART: Your choice makes sense but I don't think that one bad co-worker should dictate this couple's plans.