Elderly dad meddles in her legal affairs

DEAR AMY: I am 42 years old and my father treats me like a child! This has been going on for as long as I can remember, but the latest incident really takes the cake. I am involved in a lawsuit with a drug manufacturer - and my father goes behind my back, calling the law firm for updates on my case, as well as "advising" the attorneys! He's 82 years old and retired, and I think he's bored and needs a hobby. He has called the law firm several times without my permission or approval, and we've had some serious arguments about it.

He says he's doing absolutely nothing wrong and is only trying to help. I told him he has no right to interfere with my business. Despite how upset I obviously am, he insists he doesn't care and he's going to keep calling the law firm whenever he feels like it. He has been a great father through the years, but has always been a control freak, so I can't say this behavior totally surprises me. However, I'm really surprised that the law firm does not discourage his calls and continues to talk to him about my case. This is not a privacy issue; it's about him creating a parent/ child dynamic again. What can I do?Frustrated Daughter

DEAR FRUSTRATED: This is a privacy issue.

It is unethical for your lawyers to discuss your case with any outside party - including your father.

Imagine if your father had a legal case pending and you chose to interfere. Your input would most likely not be welcome.

You can't get yourself a new father, but if your attorneys don't respect your right to privacy, you should tell them you will have to find a new law firm willing to represent you - and only you.

If you are not able to change attorneys because of the nature of the case, you should insist in writing that they not discuss your case with anyone.