Feeling burdened by one-way friendship

DEAR AMY: I've been best friends with "Molly" since we were children. We're now in our early 20s. We've been very close and have always shared our ups and downs. She has suffered from an eating disorder for a few years now. She's received help, but her life seems to be a roller coaster. I've tried being there for her, but she has a tendency to shut down and block me out. She has ditched me at the last minute on many occasions (my birthday, holidays and many other times) without any notice. Then she ignores me for a few weeks or a few months. This hurts me. I don't have many friends, and I worry about her. When she finally communicates with me, she says she's "just been having a rough time lately," but she will post pictures on Facebook of her activities during these times, and I see she seems to be busy with other friends. This friendship is held up only by me, and I think I've had enough. She hasn't talked to me for over a month now. I deleted her off Facebook because I got annoyed seeing her interacting with all of her other friends, except for me. Should I communicate my feelings -- or leave her wondering? That's how she always treats me, so maybe I should show her what it feels like. Angry

DEAR ANGRY: If your friend suffers from anxiety or depression, this would compel her to pull away periodically, and it would be a mistake for you to take it personally.

However, given the fact that this relationship is depleting you, you should -- finally -- act only on your own behalf and not attempt to manipulate Molly.

If you try to make her wonder about you, I guarantee she will not wonder about you. If you try to retaliate in some way, this negative energy will only bounce back and hit you in the gut, because she may lack the capacity to notice.

If it would make you feel better to express your disappointment in her, then do it. If it would make you feel better to simply fade away, then definitely do that.