Feeling cheated on time with grandkids

DEAR AMY: For the past few years I have taken my grandchildren camping on two separate long weekends during the summer. I have to arrange for my vacation time several months in advance, so I asked my daughter for these two weekends and I asked if I could also take the kids to an amusement park for a couple of days, extending one weekend by two days. I was stunned by her response. She said, "It's too much this year. I have to accommodate three sets of grandparents, a great-grandmother, and the kids' camps and their friends, and then there's the stuff I want to do with them! The summer is only so long and they have a lot on their plate. I didn't even get to take them where I wanted to go with them until the end of last summer." She told me it would be best to plan only one weekend for next summer. Is this how parents think? Are grandparents and great-grandparents an intrusion in their children's lives?Hurt Grandparent

DEAR HURT: Do the math: If these kids have three sets of grandparents and a great-grandparent, and if each set wants to schedule one or two long weekends during the summer, then every summer weekend will be scheduled.

You don't say how old these grandchildren are, but they also have interests, priorities and their own agendas. Your daughter is trying to navigate through all of this.

Grandparents are not an intrusion, but at some point you may have to find ways to insinuate yourself into their lives - not by pulling them out of their orbit but by entering theirs, if possible.

Your daughter is being honest with you. She is the parent and she sets the schedule. Even if you don't agree with her choices, they are hers to make. I suggest you swallow your hurt feelings and work with her to figure out how to maximize your time with the children.