Feeling overwhelmed by newfound family

DEAR AMY: My husband was recently contacted by his father's biological family. He had never met any of these family members before. He has heard from his aunt, a couple of uncles and one first cousin after almost 50 years of their searching for him. My husband is both very excited and quite overwhelmed by this contact, and I am happy that he has found his other family. His cousin has been calling my husband an average of five to six times a day and texting him a lot. She is very wealthy. It seems a bit much to me. Maybe they are trying to make up for all the lost years in a very short time, but I am not sure. I feel a bit intruded upon with all the calls, but I am trying to put myself in my husband's shoes. Amy, I'm wondering if I am wrong in feeling that this is too much all at once?Quizzical Wife

DEAR WIFE: This sounds excessive to me, but the most important person involved in this dilemma is your husband, and you don't seem sure of what he thinks.

I suggest you ask him some neutral questions. Talking this over will help him put his reactions into some context.

If this degree of communication bothers him but he doesn't know how to draw a kindly boundary around his newfound cousin, then you should help him.

You are also part of your husband's family, so he should loop you in (without overwhelming you, too).

You mention this cousin's wealth. It could be a factor in this dynamic.

Is your husband intimidated by her? Are you? Is he being told (or does he believe) he will benefit financially in some way by this familial connection? Do you believe he will?

You two should meet this side of the family sooner rather than later. Meeting them will dispel some of the mystery surrounding this -- which fuels your anxiety.