Friend who says 'get over it' doesn't get it

DEAR AMY: How would you respond to someone whose answer for everything is, "Get over it!"? I have a friend who throws that phrase around constantly. I can't confide anything to her or describe a problem a friend may be having, because her response is always the same. I feel she's telling me my worries or concerns are not real and that I'm wasting my time thinking about them. Some of my other friends have dropped her because of her callous phrase. I would never tell her to "get over it" if she came to me with a problem. How can I tell her she's rude?

--Almost Over Her

DEAR ALMOST: From time to time, readers will suggest that I should tell people who share their problems to "get over it," but I maintain that people who reach out are trying to "get over it" by looking for some guidance and support. Sometimes they just want to tell their story in their own way and feel they're being heard.

You are correct that this person is diminishing and denigrating you. What you don't know is whether this phrase is an accurate reflection of her low opinion of you or habit. Before you drop her, say "When you tell me to 'get over' every issue I choose to share with you, what I hear is that my questions and problems are very trivial." You should give your friend an opportunity to explain herself.

DEAR AMY: "Sad and Sorry" had a husband who had admitted to an emotional affair with a colleague. Then he insisted on going on a trip with this same person without his wife! Your answer didn't go far enough. She needs to dump him!

--Been There

DEAR BEEN THERE: "Sad" said she was almost ready to throw in the towel on her marriage. The two of them were in couples therapy. I am not comfortable suggesting that people in a marriage "dump" one another. I suggest Sad make a choice for herself.