Guiding older parents to a social life

DEAR AMY: My parents moved to the city where my sister and I live with our families. They are in their early 70s and in good health. They have no social life and very little contact with other people. They wait to be invited to our homes for holidays and dinners and do not reciprocate because they don't care to entertain. Their comments to us reveal they are bored, and they get into disagreements with each other because they spend too much time together. They seem depressed. We have suggested volunteering or joining an organization or club, but they do nothing to make their lives more engaging. Instead, they wait for family to include them in a dinner or an occasional outing. It is disturbing to watch them live the last years of their lives this way. Are there organizations that could help them get involved in their community with people their age? It is a lot of pressure for us to be their only source of entertainment.

Beth

DEAR BETH: You know your folks -- you know their strengths and capabilities -- and you could help them take baby steps toward more social independence.

If your kids' school uses volunteers for the school auction or book drive, you might say to one of your parents, "They could really use a hand at school. How about we meet there Wednesday morning, and I'll introduce you to the coordinator?"

AARP.org is a wonderful resource, full of ideas for how people can live more interesting and active lives. Peruse this site with your folks. You will find a link there to Senior Corps (www.seniorcorps.gov/), a clearinghouse for volunteer opportunities.

You should also help your folks sign up for a local low-cost/no-pressure health club. There is nothing like a bit of exercise to lift a sagging spirit.