He cheated, so hold off the wedding plans

DEAR AMY: I've been in a relationship with the father of my child for three years, and recently I found out that he cheated on me. The other woman is pregnant with a baby who might be his. We are continuing our relationship and plan to get married in May, but I haven't started to trust him again. Every time he leaves the house, I worry that he'll cheat again. I know trust takes time to rebuild, but I wonder if I can ever believe him. I wonder if it's possible to have a relationship with someone who won't lie to me or be unfaithful. I also wonder if I'll ever be able to love someone as much as I love this man. Should I explore other options, or should I try to work through this? I really want to be in my current relationship and to be able to trust him again, but I don't know how. Confused

DEAR CONFUSED: The worst way to build trust is to install a ticking time bomb (i.e., a wedding date) into the mix. Stop planning your wedding. As parents to your child, you will need to be in a relationship with this man for many years. So far he is not exactly good-husband (or good-dad) material.

Your standards are very low. The father of your child and the man you love can't stay faithful during a fairly young relationship. Staying faithful isn't a tall order -- millions of couples do it every day.

It would be awesome if you could be with someone more like you. Take care of yourself and your child, and let your guy figure out how to rebuild trust.

DEAR AMY: A close relative doesn't think it's "proper" to have a male friend attend events along with me unless he is considering engagement or marriage. Wedding and party invitations usually state "and guest" -- but I am being told that it is improper for me to bring a male friend. Because of this, I go to social events alone. I enjoy socializing with other people, but seeing all of the other couples having a good time makes me feel isolated! Please tell me the rules about inviting guests to accompany me if the invitation states "and guest"?Reader in Minnesota

DEAR READER: Your relative may have distorted a basic guideline about wedding invitations. When marrying couples are planning their guest lists, they should include a romantic partner of the primary guest if the two are married, engaged, living together or in a long-term relationship.

When hosts issue invitations stating "and guest," they are inviting you to bring a date -- either a romantic date, friend or family member. You can tell your close relative that you are able to read English and that if an invitation states "and guest," then you will bring a guest of your choosing.