He hates competing with dates' cellphones

DEAR AMY: I recently started dating again. I am a man in my 50s. Many of my dates take or make social cellphone calls while on our date. Although I understand their need to leave their phone on to receive emergency calls, I find taking social calls disrespectful. When I am on a date, I am there to have a good time and get to know these women. They get my undivided attention. My friends can wait until a more appropriate time. Although most of these women are wonderful in many ways, they do not get another date with me. Am I being unreasonable?Hung Up On

DEAR HUNG UP ON: You are being entirely appropriate.

Taking social calls is bad enough -- making anything other than an emergency call while she is with you (without a believable advance explanation and apology) is an utter deal-breaker.

If a woman is really into you, she will give you her undivided attention -- in fact, if she's digging you, she will toss her phone into a restaurant toilet if its chirping interferes with your company.

You can use this as a quick litmus test of a woman's social character -- as well as her interest in you. Whatever conclusion you draw, I agree that another date is not called for.

DEAR AMY: I read the letter from "Upset" in your column. Like Upset, I am a stepmother -- I have been part of a blended family for more than 25 years. I agree with you that birthdays are important, for symbolic (and other) reasons. Unfortunately, my stepchildren didn't get the memo. We have a good relationship, but they rarely remember my birthday. Every year it hurts to realize that I am so far off their radar. For years I did what I could to make them behave differently. Now I accept it, and I feel better.

Accepting

DEAR ACCEPTING: It's the "Serenity Prayer" in action: Accept what you cannot change.