He's miserable with two loves at once

DEAR AMY: I'm a 31-year-old guy and I am confused. My girlfriend and I have been dating again for the past six months after a two-year break in which she completed her graduate degree in the city where we met. We took time off because she was not ready to settle down. During our off period, we dated and were intimate with other people. I still work with one of the people I dated, and I have come to realize that I still have considerable feelings for this person. Now my girlfriend has moved more than 1,000 miles and gotten a job where I live. This seemed like a good idea at the time, but it's not working out so well. I love my girlfriend very much but our relationship has been difficult since her arrival and, considering the strong feelings I have for this other person, I am confused. I wonder how much my feelings for this other woman affect my relationship with my girlfriend. How should I address this - or is this something I will have to deal with throughout my life and relationships?Big Sigh

DEAR BIG: During the rest of your life, you won't have to deal with this sort of thing perennially - unless you have two romantic relationships going at once, which, based on your current misery, I don't recommend.

Your girlfriend was not ready for a committed relationship during the time you spent apart.

Now she is, and she seems to have turned her life inside out to be with you, but you're having second thoughts.

You're going to have to plunge in, confront your problems, tell the truth about your misgivings and let the tears fall where they may.

Do not use your feelings for this other person as an excuse to flee from your relationship but as a reason to face your problems.

Couples counseling would help.