He thinks it's natural for men to cheat

DEAR AMY: I read with some amusement the letter in your column from "Now True Blue," the husband who "cheated" with his wife's friends and then asked you if he could ever reconcile completely with his ex-wife. My wife and I discussed this and her comment was, "I would rather you 'cheat' with a friend who I like than with some stranger." I realize that this is an unconventional answer, but men do "cheat." We love our wives, but we are just programmed that way. It's not our nature to be monogamous. I have been fortunate to have many sexual relations with women who were not my wife - I'm 72 - most with women who were also friends of ours, and happily married themselves. Most men "cheat" not because there is something wrong with their present relationship, but because an opportunity appears, and one takes advantage of it. "It" just happens. Men hunt. Some sublimate that urge, but for many of us, it helps to keep us young and vibrant. Your answer was well put, but in my opinion the poor fellow is going to carry guilt for the rest of his life and his wife will never let him forget "what he did to her."Wandering Husband

DEAR WANDERING: Thank you for explaining why men cheat, but your assertion that "it just happens" means you don't have to understand or justify the choice to cheat. Neat trick.

Women cheat, too, of course (the many "happily married" women who cheat on their husbands with you, for instance), and so your "men are hunters" statement makes me wonder what primal tendency cheating women are supposed to be satisfying.

If you and your wife don't want to have a monogamous relationship, it's a free country. My view is a guy married to a woman who wants to be in a monogamous marriage, and who cheats on her repeatedly with her friends, shouldn't wonder why she doesn't trust him.