Her anxiety is taxing friendship

DEAR AMY: For about a year, I've been in an almost constant state of anxiety. I'm always exhausted, and never seem to have much energy. Things that I used to get excited about don't make me happy anymore. Lately, my closest friend has grown tired of this. She told me she doesn't think she can continue to be my friend. I have tried to force a more optimistic attitude, but it leaves me feeling worse. I can't make her understand how I feel because I don't understand it. We've been friends for 18 years, and I don't want to lose our friendship.

--Feeling Friendless

DEAR FRIENDLESS: For an anxious and/or depressed person, change isn't a matter of merely trying to behave differently. Your body chemistry is working against you. Focus on your health; see your primary care physician for a checkup and report all of your symptoms to your doctor.

If you explain honestly that you are wrestling with some health issues and enlist your friend's help, she might make a very good advocate for you.

DEAR AMY: I am 23. My mom's friend from college and her husband have always been close to us. My sister and I call them "Aunt" and "Uncle." They love us, and we love them. They have always showered our family with thoughtful but unnecessary gifts. I want to ask them to stop giving me so many gifts. I thought about suggesting they donate the money to a charity I know we would both support. How do I do this without offending?

Over-gifted in the Northeast

DEAR OVER-GIFTED: Say, "I want you to know how lucky I feel to have you in my life. You have been so generous over the years. As I've grown, I want to accumulate fewer things and support an institution whose work I believe in. I wonder if you would be willing to donate to this organization in lieu of material gifts to me. If not, I understand -- and I'm very grateful, regardless."