Her dating woe: Balancing two great guys

DEAR AMY: A week and a half ago I went on a first date with a great guy. We spent a long lunch getting to know each other -- the date lasted five hours! We've seen each other a few more times, and I really like him. Not five days later, a friend of a friend asked me on a date, and we also had a great time. Now I have two awesome men in my life, but I'm feeling guilty for dating two people at the same time! I really don't know either of them well enough yet to decide whom I like better or whom I would be a better woman/girlfriend/wife for. I'm getting messages from them both daily. I don't want either to feel rejected, and I don't want to be callous. How long can I keep this up? How do I decide?

--Divided on Dating

DEAR DIVIDED: It's called "dating" for a reason -- you are getting to know people. You can tamp down your guilt by being honest with both men, even though at this early stage it's really not their business whom else you are seeing. Nor at this stage should you worry too much about what they want in a woman/girlfriend/wife. Your job is to focus on what you want.

Otherwise, the most logical thing to do is to follow your gut and stop seeing both of these men at the same time. Resort to the time-honored technique of partner choosing: Interview each to see which man is "relationship-worthy" and take it from there.

DEAR AMY: I'm responding to the letter from the 50-year-old woman who received money from her mother and can't decide whether to take a trip to India or bank the money for retirement. When faced with two equally valid paths, I choose both. Perhaps there is a tour group to India that may cost less or she could go during the off-season. This way she could still go on the trip and at the same time, put some money away.

--Shelley

DEAR SHELLEY : "When faced with two equally valid paths, I choose both." Very wise!