Her unilateral hard work seems in vain

DEAR AMY: I have a problem with a co-worker. We work in an industry that provides services to children. I commit my life to the job, at work and at home. I go above and beyond to make sure the services I provide are geared toward the individual and of high quality. My co-worker, who sits next to me, does the bare minimum required to stay employed. She doesn't give a single thought about work from Friday afternoon until Monday morning. She comes in late, admits she doesn't care about the clients and chats on her cellphone all day. It upsets me that our superiors see us and treat us the same because what they see is the final product of our work, not the process behind it. I know I have to change my own feelings and perspective, but my resentment is starting to interfere with my happiness. I'm really obsessing over the discrepancy between our efforts. It's difficult when bosses do not acknowledge the difference between us. What can I do to get over it?Upset Co-worker

DEAR UPSET: If your bosses see the results of your work and the work of your co-worker, and if these results are equivalent, then you should not expect them to treat you differently.

You know you cannot change them or her. Because you work on behalf of children, you should tell yourself that their well-being is your reward. Undoubtedly, you build caring relationships with your clients that bring you satisfaction and joy.

Your co-worker doesn't get to enjoy this.

Your compensation cannot be measured by a typical office yardstick. Write this down and stick it over your phone: "It's all about the kids."

Post pictures of your most memorable clients, and let their faces remind you of why you love what you do.

You must also take care of yourself. You should be willing to step away from this work to pace yourself for the long term.