His boyfriend is failing Monogamy 101

DEAR AMY: I am gay and have had a boyfriend for a year and a half. Our relationship is serious, monogamous and essentially faithful. A while ago, I caught him posting an ad on Craigslist to hook up while he was traveling out of state for business. This ad looked like ones he has posted in the past. I am a very monogamy-minded individual and felt betrayed. I called him on it, and it's now been almost a year since this incident. I don't believe he has cheated on me, but I have caught him in many lies, including using private browsing and opening new accounts on sex sites, which he then denies. I want to trust him, but I just don't know what to do about the lying. He says he lies to me because he doesn't want me to turn a minor thing into a huge issue. Every time I start to feel 100 percent trust in him, I discover another lie. I love him very much, but what is a relationship without honesty?Lost in Love

DEAR LOST: A relationship without honesty is exactly what you have: a roller coaster of Craigslist hookups, nondenial denials and a partner who blames you for forcing him to lie. Because you value monogamy, you should be with someone who shares this very basic value.

DEAR AMY: My fiance and I are both divorced parents of elementary-age children. We have been dating for nine months, so we're still learning about each other. I know he dated quite a bit after his divorce but I recently stumbled across an assortment of condoms and sexual aids in his nightstands, along with cards and photos from other women. Why would he hang onto such things? It's none of my business, but why would he have asked me to marry him?Cold Feet

DEAR COLD FEET: This isn't exactly "none of your business." Your fiance's sexual past has created doubt, and you should be brave enough to ask him about it, even if you think you won't like his answers.