How best to address colleague's drinking

DEAR AMY: I suspect that a woman with whom I have a professional relationship has a serious drinking problem. I believe her drinking has cost her at least one customer, and I am afraid she is jeopardizing her entire business. I'm worried that if I confront her about this, it will destroy our relationship, which I value highly. Is there a way I can help her without direct confrontation?In a QuandaryDEAR QUANDARY: There is no indirect way to do this, and, unfortunately, you may not be able to help the woman, even with a direct confrontation.

If you do nothing, the current pattern will continue. If you do act, she may continue to do everything she's currently doing and your relationship will be compromised as well.

The most ethical thing to do is to honestly express your own observation and leave out anything not directly connected to the issue.

You say, "This is difficult, but I believe your drinking is interfering with your business. I believe in you, so I'm saying this out of concern. I'm worried." Colleagues often are the last in a line of people to confront a person with a drinking problem. Without a lot of emotional history between you, your statement could have an impact.

DEAR AMY: "Scared Sister" wrote about her sister's dog scratching visitors. I had a similar problem with my pup. We resolved it by leashing her in a harness when we were expecting guests. She had to sit at the owner's side as the guests arrived. In case she got away from her handler, we instructed our guests to correct her if she started jumping and scratching by using their foot to give her a firm tap on her belly.

Once the initial excitement was over, the dog was unleashed and behaved beautifully.Trainer Who Has Been There

DEAR TRAINER: Conscientious owners take responsibility for their dogs' behavior.