How best to get help for tweens whocut

DEAR AMY: I am 12 years old. I have three friends who cut. "Jane" was a cutter until her parents found out and got her a therapist. Jane has shown much improvement and no longer cuts. She is much happier. My other two friends have kept it a secret from everybody but me. They do not seem to find it a problem. I feel strongly against it. I want to help them, but I'm not sure how. Every time I try to talk about it with them, they shut down. One of my friends says that getting a therapist can be incredibly traumatizing, and that it doesn't usually help. I don't know whether that is true. How should I approach this?Worried

DEAR WORRIED: "Cutting" is the practice of self-scratching or cutting the skin until it bleeds. There is evidence that people who cut do so when they are experiencing stress or anxiety. They say that feeling the pain of cutting gives them a sort of release. This is a dangerous practice -- unless this cycle is interrupted, cutting can accelerate.

I share your concern about your friends. You sound like a very good and concerned friend, but this is way beyond your ability to manage it.

You have proof that "Jane" has been helped by her parents and a therapist. This is definitely the way to go. Tell your folks and also your school's counselor what is going on with your friends. They need professional, adult intervention.

DEAR AMY: Responding to "The New Minority," the "classy" smoker whose boyfriend is irritated by her occasional smoking, I also was a smoker, and there is nothing classy about smoking. Although I'd only smoke outdoors, my wife and kids were upset by it. They asked me to quit for a few years. I finally did. Not only are they happier, but so am I. I feel better physically and mentally, and we all spend much more time together because I'm not sitting out on the deck, puffing by myself.Ex-Smoker