How best to stop the high school rumor mill

DEAR AMY: I am a freshman in a new high school. The teachers are awesome, I am involved in sports, and I have made many new friends. However, there was a recent gossip incident that has me scratching my head. What is the best way to deal with a false rumor and figure out who started it without making a big deal out of the rumor, especially if it involves boys?--Not Big on Gossip

DEAR GOSSIP: You are being tested. This is common in ninth grade.

Let your parents know this has happened; they need to know what's going on with you, even if you don't want them to do anything about it.

Tracking this rumor to the source may invite more scrutiny and ignite an escalation. For now, do not react at all. Ignore this rumor and go about your business of doing well and making new friends. Rise above it and move on.

If you become aware of anything beyond this, speak to a favorite teacher and/or the counselor at your school. In rare cases, this can get seriously out of hand. If so, you must alert the school officials; they will intervene to shut it down.

DEAR AMY: I agree with your advice to "Bewildered," who felt gifts brought to children's parties should be opened at the event. I had issues with gifts at kids' birthday parties, so we tried a different tack. Prior to sending invitations, the birthday child was encouraged to select a charity such as the food bank, animal shelter or organization that provides hygiene kits to homeless children. In the invitation, we would request that guests bring items to donate in lieu of gifts. We replaced gift opening with fun activities (like a craft project) so the guests would leave with something special. After the party, the birthday child and I would make a trip to the charity to deliver the collected items. These opportunities provided a far greater gift to my kids: learning that giving can be more gratifying than receiving.--Party Mom