How do I cope with loss in my life?

DEAR AMY: I am a 25-year-old woman, and I have dealt with a lot of loss in my life. I have lost friends, family, co-workers and classmates through accidents, drunken driving and gun violence. I show others I am doing OK, but I'm an emotional wreck who hides my feelings. My father always taught us to suck it up and not cry. On the five-year anniversary of my best friend's murder, I sat in my room holding a picture of the two of us, then I got dressed and went to a birthday party, showing everyone I was OK. I never really dealt with losing him. I have started to push friends away for fear of losing them and to avoid the hurt I will feel when they die. I am not depressed or suicidal. I would like to face this without the help of a shrink. I see no sense in paying someone to hear me talk, and I refuse to take depression medicine.Missing Loved OnesDEAR MISSING: Refusing to pay someone to hear you talk is like refusing to visit a physician to set your broken bone. The right therapist leads you toward healing through insight. It's not enough to be strong. To be a healthy survivor, you have to face your feelings, actually feel them, and be brave enough to have relationships, even when you know that all loss is accentuated by love. You would definitely benefit from talking, if not with an individual therapist, then with a group of people also wrestling with loss. You could start by contacting Compassionate Friends, to see if attending a meeting of this grief group would be right for you: compassionatefriends.org.

DEAR AMY: I'm another dissatisfied reader, complaining about your answer to "Irritated Uncle." The man just wanted to give gifts that would be appreciated, and you jumped all over him!

Also Irritated

DEAR ALSO: You'll have to get in line to spank me on this one. I alone seem to have found this "Uncle" not only irritated but also irritating.