Husband's affair with teacher a no-no

DEAR AMY: My husband had an emotional affair with a teacher at my child's school last year.

They both lied to me when I asked them to quit contacting each other. Being betrayed by two people whom I trusted has been extremely difficult. I think it's finally over, but I'm paranoid about the new school year. She is married, but that didn't seem to stop either of them. I've saved copies of all their e-mails and cell phone records. Part of me wants to share this information with the principal and the teacher's husband, but I know I probably should just let it go.Betrayed Wife

DEAR BETRAYED: You should tell the principal about this inappropriate relationship before the start of the new year. Even if the school doesn't have a stated policy prohibiting relationships between a teacher and the parent of a student, this shows terrible judgment, most importantly concerning your son. The school administrator should speak to this teacher about her actions, and your child should not be placed in her classes.

DEAR AMY: My 25-year-old daughter is living with my husband and me. While away at college, she gained about 40 pounds. She is only 5-foot-2, and she used to be in perfect shape. She eats rapidly and chooses fattening foods. People say I cannot say anything to her because it will make her feel that she is only loved when she is perfect. I am 60 and am very fit and healthy.I don't know how to approach my daughter without putting her on the defensive.

Worried Mother

DEAR WORRIED: Any attempt you make to discuss this might put your daughter on the defensive - or the offensive. Understand this before you start. Say, "Honey, I'm worried about you. I'd like to try to help, but first let's talk about what's going on with you." Do not compare her to you - or to her formerly "perfect" self.