Husband's jealousy rules her social life

DEAR AMY: My husband and I have been invited to the wedding of a dear friend's son. I have just learned that a man I dated almost 20 years ago will be at the reception. The handful of times I have seen him over the last 20 years have been cordial. The problem is that my husband is jealous of any man I dated before I met him. I have never given him any reason not to trust me (and he says he does trust me), but I know that if this ex of mine attempts to greet me at the reception, things could get ugly. I know my husband's emotions about this are immature, but it is what it is. I have thought of not attending the reception, but I don't want to hurt my friend's feelings. I have thought to say something to my husband like, "Hey, just so you know, John Doe will be there," but then I fear he will not want to attend the wedding at all, so neither of us will be going. I have also thought to contact "John Doe" and ask him to not approach me at the reception. I feel as if I am in a no-win situation. What should I do?WorriedDEAR WORRIED: It's a shame you can't count on your husband to behave in public.

Though his jealousy and immaturity may dictate his social life, must it also dictate yours? Let him know "John Doe" also has been invited to the wedding. Say you are hopeful he can handle himself. Ask him to think about it and let you know, realistically, if he can manage his jealousy.

If your husband doesn't want to attend the wedding and if you want to go, then go.

If you don't feel comfortable attending this full event without your husband, a compromise would be for you to attend the church service but not the reception.

This irrational jealousy is not something you should necessarily simply accept, long term. Your husband could work on this with the help of a professional. You should suggest it.