Husband sought web sex -- should she stay?

DEAR AMY: My husband and I have been together for 10 years and we have four beautiful children. I recently discovered my husband sending nude pictures over the Internet to an unknown email address and asking the recipient for a no-strings-attached sexual encounter. I was completely shocked and heartbroken! To me, this is cheating! He said he was seeking attention from other women because our sexual relationship hasn't been up to par. He said he has never cheated on me. He claimed he was just looking to see if he still "had it." He works a lot out of town and now my recent findings have my mind racing about what he is doing every minute of every day or who he is doing it with. I can't seem to get this email or image out of my mind. It's all I think about from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed! I find I am constantly checking his emails and his phone for some indication he might be having conversations with other women. Part of me wants to leave because of this trust issue, but a part of me wants to stay with the father of my children. What should I do?HeartbrokenDEAR HEARTBROKEN: Sending nude photos and asking for sex puts your husband in a special category -- it takes him beyond the "I'm flirting with a co-worker to see if I still 'have it' " standard. If the recipient is underage, this could be illegal.

It's possible to recover from this, but not without your husband's full, honest and open participation.

Has he apologized? Other than to tell you he's not satisfied, has he offered to work with you on improving this sexual relationship that he finds so unfulfilling? Do you even want to be with him? Trust is the cornerstone of a marriage. With four little kids at home, you have better ways to spend your days than wringing your hands and trolling through your husband's email.

He's going to have to earn your trust and prove himself worthy of it. I'm skeptical.