In Iowa, it's still any Republican's game

No one can tell you now who will win the Iowa caucuses Tuesday. The polls can't. The pundits can't. I certainly can't. But even I know this much: The first official test of the Republican candidates for president has been one head-spinning, heart-pounding breakneck ride, careening all the way to the finish line.

And look at all the bruised bodies littering the road.

Pizza man Herman Cain, who went from rising star to also-ran in 999 seconds. Math major Rick Perry, who's still practicing his counting, 1-2-whatever. Debate king Newt Gingrich, too smart for the room AND too dumb for it. Poor Jon Huntsman, wondering why everybody else got to surge but him. Lingering Donald Trump, who never was a candidate, just kept pretending to be. Oh, right, and Michele Bachmann -- remember her?

That leaves front-runner Mitt Romney, running at the front again. It leaves surging Rick Santorum, surging not a minute too soon. And it leaves Ron Paul, speaking for the End-the-Drug-War-and-All-Other-Wars Wing of the Republican Party. Who knew there was such a wing?

So buckle your seat belts. Aren't elections fun?

REFUND OR EXCHANGE

1. Verizon's $2 bill-pay charge

2. Bank of America's $5 debit-card fee

3. Netflix's online streaming and DVD-rental divorce

4. That little Christmas tattletale, "Elf on the Shelf"

5. Talk already of an iPad 3

LONG ISLANDER OF THE WEEK: FINGERS

He plays loud music. He rides loud bikes. But Fingers, WBAB/102.3's metalhead afternoon man, speaks with quiet reverence about his plans for Sunday. It's kickstands up at noon for the 9th annual Cold Finger Run -- Fingers on a Dyna Wide Glide Harley, joined by hundreds of other charity-minded motorcycle riders, braving the frigid temps to benefit the American Cancer Society's Camp Adventure on Shelter Island. "I'm a very regular guy," the LI radio legend says. "My house is in foreclosure. I'm a lucky to have a job I love so much, even luckier to have the chance to give something back." The riders start at the Cradle of Aviation Museum in Garden City. Late entries are still welcome. Everyone kicks in $20. The day ends with a post-run party at Mulcahy's in Centereach. Every nickel goes to the kids. "I've been out to the camp quite a few times," Fingers says softly. "Amazing kids in an amazing place."