Invite only whom you wish to annual party

DEAR AMY: My husband and I have hosted an annual holiday party for nine years. While it is a lot of work, we do have a great time. Among our other guests, we have included the parents of our children's friends from sports and other interests. They come and enjoy themselves and now expect to be on the guest list every year. Some of these people are our friends, but there are a few who have never reciprocated an invitation. I would like to skip the party this year and resume it next year to "weed out" the guest list. My husband disagrees and just wants to omit these people from the guest list (about 10 couples) and continue with the party.Always the Hostess

DEAR ALWAYS: I'm with your husband on this. Not celebrating in a way that you enjoy as a way to "weed out" an invitation list is self-punishing; it also penalizes the people you truly enjoy hosting.

DEAR AMY: My wife and I have been dealing with some difficult marital issues. During these months, she reconnected with an old school friend and had an affair with him. I asked her to cease all contact with him. We began working on our marriage, but communication between them continued. I insisted it end, and it did. After a brief hiatus, they are talking again. How do I respond to her if she refuses to end their communication? Things will never be right while he is in contact.Struggling in the North

DEAR STRUGGLING: In their book, "Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity" (Free Press, 2004), authors Shirley P. Glass and Jean Coppock Staeheli describe marriage as two people standing together in a room.

When your wife had an affair, she invited someone into your room. Glass says the only way to heal a damaged marriage is to cease all contact with the former lover.