Is older, less mature boyfriend a catch?

DEAR AMY: I've been with my boyfriend for close to a year now. He's 26, and I'm 22. Within two months of our meeting, he moved in with me. Six months later, we got a puppy, and seven months later his 5-year-old son moved in, too.

We want a future together and talk about it often. I have never been in a serious relationship before, and this has been a huge adjustment. The problem is that we may not be as compatible as I would like. He likes to drink and smoke marijuana (almost every day). I'm past this partying stage of life and just want to be responsible, finish my degree and make smart choices. It has created many problems because of the way he treats me -- specifically the way he talks to me when he's had one too many. I feel his drinking only affects me and not so much him and his priorities. When we met, he wasn't living a very responsible life (no steady job, he did not have his son with him and didn't have his own place). I feel I'm too young for this, even though I've always wanted a family. The thing is that he is a great guy in every other respect. He cooks, cleans, works hard, he's sweet, and he's a great father to his son. Should I just stick it out until he can put down the beer when we're "grown" and live responsible lives? He says we're young and should have fun while we can, and the partying will end when we lead "grown-up" lives. Do you think alcohol will always be a part of him? He gets beer even if we have barely any money.Confused and Lost

DEAR CONFUSED: I agree with you that you two are not compatible. You seem more mature than your guy, and your desire for a grown-up life has landed you in a domestic situation you are not prepared for.

I don't know if this sweet man will choose to stop doing all of the things he's currently doing.

So far, he has declared that he doesn't want to change, so the decisions to be made about your life must be made by you.