Is passion sneaking up on sex-only duo?

DEAR AMY: Recently I began to have sex with a guy I've known for three years. We were attracted to each other, so we agreed on a "sex-buddy" relationship. We don't speak to each other in public, and I don't mind that at all. I am perfectly content keeping our behavior 100 percent secret. But now the sex has changed. It's not a bad change, necessarily, because when we first started it was pretty automatic and even sort of anonymous. But now it has evolved to where he kisses me a lot and he is a million times more passionate than he used to be. He hugs me more, tries to hold me and kisses me a lot.

It made me kind of think that he was beginning to have feelings for me -- until recently, that is, when he told me that he has no emotional attachment when it comes to sex. I am the shyest person ever when it comes to asking people about their feelings, so I can't imagine asking him. This has left me really confused. What could this mean?

--Confused

DEAR CONFUSED: Evidently you have never seen the movie "Pretty Woman." If you had, you would know that kissing during sex means that your sex partner is moments away from whisking you off on a romantic trip aboard a private jet to see the opera.

Or not.

I am wrapping my tired mind around the concept that you are not too shy to engage in a sex-only relationship but you cannot bring yourself to ask a question. If you won't risk having a conversation about this, perhaps you will be brave enough to make a statement on your own behalf.

If kissing is too intimate or confusing for you, you should tell your partner not to do it. However, you don't report feeling happy or fulfilled.

Your confusion is a gift. Start to make choices that are more affirmative and in which your sexual life is more integrated into your emotional life. It's trickier, but you also have a shot at a real "Hollywood ending."