Is this friend flirting with trouble?

DEAR AMY: I'm 25 and have been in a relationship for almost a year. My boyfriend and I are close with his best friend and this man's girlfriend. She's easy to talk to, but also a very flirty person, and sometimes she'll say or do things to my boyfriend that make me uncomfortable. For example, after not seeing us for just two days recently, she got out of the car, yelled his name, ran and jumped into his arms, hugging him.

He laughed it off, but I didn't. I know I need to talk to him about it no matter what, but my question is, do I just need to get over it? And should I talk to her about it? Not the Jealous Type

DEAR NOT: It would be easy to suggest that you try to make a point by leaping into your platonic male friend's arms, but you don't sound like the type of person to do this.

The most genuinely flirtatious people I know tend to be equal-opportunity flirts -- they flirt with men, they flirt with women, they flirt with my cat, Chester. If she was like this, you might not have a problem with her behavior. Maybe you should ask her why she leaps into your boyfriend's arms but not yours.

Do speak with her, preferably by reacting honestly, in the moment, and following up later, privately, to say that her overt and physical affection directed toward your boyfriend makes you uncomfortable.

Your boyfriend knows you don't like this. The fact that he "laughs it off" rather than discusses it with you makes me think he either doesn't mind it or he doesn't know what to do about it. You should ask him.

DEAR AMY: I recently started dating a mutual acquaintance of mine and my best friend. I invited my friend to lunch so I could tell her that I was dating this man, but as soon as I mentioned his name, she began to rant angrily about him. She said he is a "complete joke of a person" and that anyone who dated him would never get respect. I did not have a chance to tell her of my relationship with him. I want to tell her that I am dating him, but I am scared of her reaction to the news. I know I do not want to stop dating this man, but I need to maintain the friendship I have with my best friend. Is this possible? Anxious

DEAR ANXIOUS: Your friend sounds like a bit of a bully. You will have to be honest with her and prepare yourself for her negative reaction. If she has legitimate concerns about him, she should share them with you.

If she only wants to trash him, you should consider the possibility that she simply doesn't want you to be in a relationship. Best friends really shouldn't act this way, but sometimes they can't help themselves.