It's caring that defines 'a real father'

DEAR AMY: My ex and I have a son who is 6. My son's father never sees him. I am married to a man who sees and treats my son as if he were his own. My son calls him "Daddy" and his real father by his first name, Glen. It was his choice to call my husband "Daddy." The only problem is that now he wants to know why his real dad doesn't love him and is never around. I try not to say anything bad about his real dad, but it is hard. His real dad just wants to party and has said several times, "Your new man can take care of things." How do I explain this to my son?Confused Mommy

DEAR MOMMY: Keep your statements simple and age-appropriate. You can reassure and comfort your son by saying, "Glen was your daddy before you were born, but he is making a choice not to be around now. This isn't because he doesn't love you. He just doesn't know how to be a dad. I'm so happy we have 'Daddy' around because he loves us both very much, and he shows us this every day." Try to stop using the term "real dad." A real dad is a dad who does the real fathering.

If your ex isn't around, doesn't contribute to the family and doesn't care to be in your son's life, you might want to explore the idea of having your husband adopt your son. That's as real as it gets.

DEAR AMY: I'm responding to the letter from "Eager to be Employed," who was asked in a job interview if she had children. I put on my resumé that I have two children and that this gives me ample experience being responsible and in charge. I've received many more responses to this resumé than I have to previous versions.Savvy Mom

DEAR SAVVY: Your choice to include this was a good calculation, but employers should not ask about kids in a job interview. I used to list my ancient experience as a lounge singer on a resumé; sure enough, this was always asked about first.