It's possible to balance the baby-sitting

DEAR AMY: I work in a camp, so I am gone for eight days at a time, followed by six days at home. When I come home, my girlfriend expects me to remain at home with her and her baby for most of my days off (I am not the baby's father but I love them both very much). She wants me to watch the baby for a night so she can have a "girls' night." I think that's fine, but she gets angry if I want to have a guys' night out. She seems to think I am going on a vacation every time I go to work, when actually I work 12-hour days and fall into bed exhausted after I call her at night. Quite often I feel as if all I get to do is go to work and then come home to watch the baby. I really do love her and the baby; I just need a night/day for myself to socialize or go fishing (or whatever) to rejuvenate myself so I have the motivation to go to work. And when I try to tell her this, it always ends up with us in an argument and me being miserable. How can I get her to understand that I do want to allow her a night out but that I need one too?

--Worked to Death

DEAR WORKED: Every adult needs time to him/herself, especially parents with babies at home.

The obvious compromise would be for you two to hire a sitter (or trade off child care duties with a friend) during one of the nights when you are home.

Then you can each have your gender-specific time to yourself.

During the days you are home, you two should trade off a day of baby watching where your girlfriend has the baby until 2 p.m. so you can go fishing and you take over from 2 to 8 p.m. so she can spend some time by herself during the day.

If you can't figure out how to achieve some personal and parental balance, then you two have bigger problems than time management.