Lesson: Who should do the school project?

DEAR AMY: My 10-year-old daughter finished a school project that took her hours of brainstorming, painting and gluing. I made some suggestions and showed her how to apply papier-mâché. She did a great job and was very excited for the teacher's reaction. I was shocked when she came home from school yesterday and said that one of the other kids had her mother do the project and it was far better than hers. I comforted my child and reminded her that her work shouldn't be compared to an adult's, but what if there were other kids in the class who felt inferior? Should I try to speak to the teacher? Upset Mom

DEAR MOM: My daughter was in sixth grade and worked on a homework project on ancient Rome. Parents were invited into the classroom and, like you, I was shocked to see that some looked as if they had been completed by a team of professionals. When I praised the work of one classmate, my daughter's teacher sighed and said, "Yes, 'Wendy's' dad worked very hard on that."

Your daughter knows it's not right for a parent to do this. You can assure her that experienced teachers know who has done what and that, aside from whatever grade she gets, her reward is to know she has done right, and done well. Don't hesitate to ask the teacher about this.

DEAR AMY: I loved your comment to "Stunned," when you disclosed that you grew up riding in the back of a pickup truck. When my mother drove the Girl Scout troop to a hike with half the kids riding in the back of the family station wagon, the ride home was made more fun when another mom piled us into the family funeral home's hearse.Susan

DEAR SUSAN: To clarify -- I am not advocating that people drive children around unbelted. This was dangerous when you and I were young, and it's still dangerous today -- and illegal.