Let guest know his welcome's worn out

DEAR AMY: Three months ago, I agreed to let my husband's friend stay at our house so he could get back on his feet from a breakup. I'm a mother of three and now I want my house back! He sleeps on our couch, eats our food and barely compensates us. We ask him to do chores in exchange for rent, but he does these things only when he feels like it, then does them halfway. When we bring it to his attention, he cops an attitude. We've asked him to hurry up and leave, but he doesn't take us seriously. How do I tell him that he has worn out his welcome without being brash?

Annoyed Mother

DEAR ANNOYED: It seems that you have a fourth child on your hands, and so you should communicate with this couch-surfing spud the way you would a child whose behavior you wanted to affect. You stay calm and communicate a firm boundary and don't worry too much about how the message will be received. Your reluctance to be "brash" is keeping him on your couch.

You and your husband set a real and firm deadline for moving out and call a meeting to inform him. Say, "We've had you with us for three months now, and it's time for you to move on. We've set next Saturday as the move-out date and would be happy to help you get your stuff together to move out." Stand firm.

DEAR AMY: As a bridesmaid, am I required to give a wedding gift? I have already given a shower gift, purchased a $200 dress, contributed to the bachelorette party, and will have hair/makeup done and a hotel room at the distant reception. I am on student loans.Strapped Bridesmaid

DEAR STRAPPED: You are not required to do anything, but you should give the couple a gift unless they have asked their wedding party not to. You can keep a gift low-to-no cost by pulling together photos for an album or slide show.