Let husband deal with letter from his ex

DEAR AMY: My husband of two years and I are both 60. Our previous marriages were 29 and 35 years, respectively. My former husband is remarried. We communicate and/or see each other when our three children have important events in their lives like weddings and graduations. My husband has not been in touch with his ex. They had no children. She left him for another man. Recently the wife of my husband's best friend died. He called his ex to inform her because the couples had once been close. A few days later, my husband received a handmade card from her. She said that no matter what happened in life, she would always be there for him, and that he was "in her heart forever." It opened with "Dear" and closed with "Love" and she used her pet name for him. There was no mention of the woman who died or the grieving husband. I'm grateful that my husband shared the card with me. He has no intention of responding and feels this will prevent her from getting in touch again. I feel insecure about that. I decided to write to her and let her know that my husband and I both felt her card was inappropriate and that similar expressions were not welcome. He asked me to sit on the letter for a few days and perhaps not send it. He said that it was not like me to send such a communication, but I could do what I want to feel better. I know it will diminish me in my husband's eyes if I send it and perhaps cause him to be less open with me in the future. What should I do?

--New Wife

DEAR WIFE: Your husband is a smart guy. Follow his advice.

It is obvious that you are quite threatened by this contact. If your husband hears from his ex again, he can bring the hammer down. But for you to do so reveals your insecurity to the ex (despite how appropriate you feel your wording is), and I don't think this is your intent.

Your husband is an adult, and it is his job to manage his ex.