Live-in boyfriend should pay his share

DEAR AMY: I have been living with a guy for almost two years. Even though he continues to pay the bills on his own house, he lives with me (including eating all meals here). He has never offered to share the expense of living at my house, though I've brought it up. I have children at home, and his response has always been that his living in my house doesn't add any expenses. I disagree. I feel am being taken advantage of. He should offer to pay his own way -- at the very least pay for his own food. When he and I go out alone, he pays for my meals and any date-related expenses, but when we planned a recent trip together, he didn't hesitate to tell me exactly what my share would be. What's your take?Disadvantaged

DEAR DISADVANTAGED: After two years of living together, you should not gingerly bring up a topic as important as money in the hopes that your guy "offers" to pay a share of the household living expenses. Nor should you necessarily characterize him as "living off" of you if he does pay for some things.

If you share a household, then it is completely reasonable to put all of your shared expenses on the table. Include rent, utilities, food, etc., and negotiate what expenses each of you will assume. Fortunately, if you can't work things out, he already has a house he can go home to.

DEAR AMY: I'm responding to a question in your column about whether it is wise to have a parent officiate at a wedding. As a pastor and the father of three daughters, I declined to officiate at their weddings. I officiate at the weddings of members of my parish. I am not my daughters' pastor. I am dad. On their wedding days, I filled the role of dad and walked them down the aisle -- a far more fulfilling role than to stand in for their pastor. They need to build their own relationship with their pastor. They already have one with me.

Pastor Mark