Male newbie tosses 'career girl' busy work

DEAR AMY: I am a 26-year-old "career girl" who works on a team that consists of all men in their 40s and 50s. These gentlemen have always treated me with respect. It is obvious that they value the job I do at our company. Recently, a new team member was brought on who is also a friend of my boss. "Jon" does not treat me as a professional equal. Instead, Jon gives me his busy work, talks down to me and is generally disrespectful. I feel that his pride has made it difficult for him to work with me because of my status at our company, the fact that I'm younger than he is and the fact that I'm a woman, or maybe a combination of all three. I'm only a little bit older than his daughters. How do I express to Jon that I am not his personal assistant? Should I involve my superior or try to handle this on my own? I don't want to seem like a tattletale, but I'm harboring a lot of resentment, and I know it will only get worse if I don't confront the issue.

Workplace Woes

DEAR WORKPLACE: You could start by never, ever, in any context, referring to yourself as a "career girl." Even reading that phrase makes me want to send you out for coffee.

Your colleague can't just "give" you busy work. He can attempt to assign a task to you, but if this task isn't in your job description and if he is a recent hire, then you will have to educate him. Say, "I'm sorry, 'Jon,' but I'm going to toss this back to you. I don't handle administrative tasks for other team members." You might be contributing to this dynamic by acting like an ingénue (you certainly write like one). So stop it. Don't make assumptions about why your colleague is behaving badly -- but respond to the behavior quickly, appropriately and professionally.

As the new guy, if he has a problem with you, then he can go whine to the boss.