Mom fears son is more than just tardy

DEAR AMY: My 11-year-old son has a problem with completing tasks on time. Ever since he started school, I have noticed that he is really slow in doing everything. When the teacher asks the students to line up, he is always the last one. He takes twice as long as everybody else in the family when it comes to eating meals, and he spends three to four hours each night doing homework that the teacher recommends should take only 30 to 45 minutes. I have asked his teachers and pediatrician, but they say he will grow out of it. Even though he does not participate in after-school activities, he still stays up until 11 p.m. to finish his homework. I try to reward him with small prizes every time he finishes his homework faster, but when I ask him why he does things so slowly, he says it is because he does not want to do them. What am I doing wrong?Concerned Parent

DEAR PARENT: You should have your son evaluated more thoroughly to be checked for a learning, cognitive or medical issue that interferes with his ability to get and stay on task.

If he is consistently and noticeably different from other children his age and if this tendency is getting worse, then I would challenge assertions that he will grow out of it. Most important, follow your instincts.

DEAR AMY: I've enjoyed reading in your column about how people celebrate birthdays at work. Where I work, we have a birthday breakfast out once a month. Everyone pitches in a little. There are about 20 in our department. Yesterday was our February birthday breakfast. It was for three people in the department. We had biscuits and gravy, bagels and the works. This gives everyone a chance to sit down together once a month to talk about local things. On our way back to work, we wish these folks a happy birthday. Sometimes we sing, sometimes we don't. Steve in Fort Richardson,

Alaska