Mom's anxious about son's beloved blankie

DEAR READERS: I'm marking my 10-year anniversary of writing the "Ask Amy" column by rerunning some of my favorite Q&As from the early days of the column. I return next week.

DEAR AMY: I have six children and I am concerned about my 31/2-year-old. I'm embarrassed to say he still uses a pacifier and is very attached to his "blankie." Blankie is nothing more than a filthy ball of string. The last time I washed it, some of it disintegrated in the dryer.

Every time my son finds a string from blankie on the floor, he melts into tears, crying, "Blankie's dying." To make matters worse, the director of his preschool was recently over for lunch. My son walked into the room with his pacifier and blankie in tow. I've never felt so ashamed in all my life. I don't think I can possibly face her again unless he has given up his habits.

Under Pressure in D.C.

DEAR UNDER: After six children, one thing you've no doubt seen in your family is how different your kids are from one another. Your little guy might get treated like the treasured "baby of the family" at the same time he is being trampled by roving gangs of older siblings. He might be tough as nails, but can you imagine the tension he might be feeling as he resists growing up? Any seasoned preschool director has seen children come into school with all sorts of different needs and anxieties. She and your son's teachers can help you wean him from these love objects by insisting that blankie and his pacifier stay at home, or in his cubby during school. You follow through at home by putting them in a place he can't get to so he has to ask you for them.

A friend of mine had a daughter whose blankie was literally down to strings. Finally, it was sealed in a sandwich bag, which the daughter kept in her locker at school. She starts college this year (2003) with the blankie in the bag.