Mom's split personality worries daughters

DEAR AMY: We all have stories about hurtful things parents say to their adult children, but my mother seems especially clueless about this. The thoughtful and kind person I talk to on the phone is a hateful, complaining drag in person. She has nothing but depressing, negative comments to share. Attempts to steer the conversation in a pleasant direction get turned toward negative things, and she will always find them. My sister and I have both had experiences where we reached our limit while in her presence and have either blown up at her or left in a huff. Mom always seems confused and hurt after the fact, even though at the moment she is threatening to "never speak to" us again. I've attempted to diplomatically approach the subject, and this just turns into an argument because I am "picking" on her. A recent row between my mother and sister has me considering trying to explain things to my mom (perhaps in a letter, so she has to think about it before reacting). Distressed SisterDEAR DISTRESSED: If your mother's behavior has changed recently, and if she is confused or really doesn't remember lashing out, she may have a medical problem. If she has always been this way, but you have reached the end of your tether, then definitely put this in writing. Take extra care to explain exactly what your mother does that bothers you. Tell her you are writing because you love her and want to have the best possible relationship with her. Ask her to get in touch to talk about it.

DEAR AMY: The letter from "Mom" cracked me up. Mom told a tall tale about her daughter, who was cleaning up her friend's dorm room when a bottle of Champagne mysteriously opened and spilled over the roommate's laptop. Evidently, those wires that hold a cork in a Champagne bottle somehow untwisted themselves, and the cork just popped out! Amused Reader