DEAR AMY: I'm a 27-year-old, well-educated man with a good job and plans for an even better future. I have many friends and a pretty good life. I'm single and it doesn't bother me at all, though I don't plan on being single forever. However, the fact that I'm single bothers my mother. I generally have a good relationship with her and during my weekly calls home, I mention my friends, their kids, etc. My mother, seeking to be helpful, sends baby clothes for me to give to my friends. I hate doing this. First of all, I'm perfectly capable of giving gifts to my friends on my own. But she has started sending this clothing to me unsolicited, without any mention of anyone having a new baby. This is obviously a not-so-subtle (and extraordinarily annoying) hint that she wants me to have kids. What is the best way to tell her to stop spending her time and money sending me this stuff? Telling her to butt out of my love life (or lack thereof) doesn't help.

--Sick-and-Tired Son


DEAR SON: Ask your mother an open-ended question along the lines of, "Mom, you keep sending baby clothes to my address. Those onesies don't seem to fit me. So what's up with that?" If your mother repeatedly asks you to pass along these clothes, offer to give her your friends' addresses so she can be directly in touch with them.

You could also point your mother toward charities in need of tenderhearted people like her; some larger hospitals engage volunteer women to hold and nurture newborns who need some TLC. Homeless shelters also need donated baby goods and volunteers to help care for them.

Respectfully reflect your mother's concerns and then deflect, change the subject, or - if she's stuck on this one track - tell her you'll call back another time and when you do you'd like to discuss a different topic.

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