Mom worries about her 16-year-old's prom date

DEAR AMY: My daughter is 16 and in the 10th grade. She was asked to go to her high school prom by an 11th-grader whom she was seeing earlier this year. They only went out for a few weeks and then broke up. I believe she ended it because he didn't make much - or any - effort. Shortly after they broke up, he started dating someone else. I have reason to believe she has been second-guessing her decision to break up with him. Her friends have been suggesting that she give him another chance. I told her she shouldn't settle for someone. She is beautiful, smart, kind and funny, and when the right boy comes along, he will make her feel special. She says they are just friends and she simply wants to go to the prom. I know she really wants to go, however, I don't want her to get hurt again, so I am very tempted to tell her she can't go. What do you think? -- Confused Mom

DEAR CONFUSED: There is nothing wrong with going to the prom with a friend, but this guy doesn't sound like much of a friend. Because your daughter won't have any other friends attending and is in 10th grade, you should tell her to wait a year.

I agree with your concerns about your daughter "settling," and though many of us learn best through our mistakes, the prom is too high stakes, too expensive and some would say too risky to use as a learning tool. It's smart to talk about her options and choices, but you may also have to wince a little as your daughter cycles through the various social stages toward maturity.

DEAR AMY: More on people "popping by." With almost everyone having cell phones, a simple courtesy call is appreciated, even if it is only to give me 10 minutes to "tidy up" or to explain that it's not a good time for me. Readers, please be considerate and do not just "drop in."  -- Please Don't Pop

DEAR POP: I promise to call first.