Money Fix: Single out money issues before you're a couple

We can only guess how many engagement rings will be offered and accepted this weekend in that annual ritual of optimism that is Valentine's Day. But, more important than that rock, financial experts say, is getting a good fix on how compatible you are financially. What do you know about each other's money beliefs and behaviors?

An unsexy subject? Perhaps, says Sharon Kedar, co-author of "Get Financially Naked - How to Talk Money with Your Honey" (Adams, $12.95). But "it's less sexy to have a relationship end because of money." She and co-author Manisha Thakor interviewed one woman at odds with her spouse over spending money on travel and other life-broadening experiences for their children, and another woman still paying off the loan she co-signed with a boyfriend, now long gone.

Before you think wedding vows, think "financial vows," Kedar says. As for bringing up that subject:

When: Start having serious money discussions when you realize you're in a committed relationship, she says. Definitely before you move in together and certainly before you start picking caterers and china patterns.

How: Some people have no trouble being direct, as in, "Hey, let's compare notes on our financial lives." Others may prefer to ease into the conversation by gently teasing out information, such as which parent managed the checkbook.

What:Ultimately you need to find out the hard core: How much debt your honey has, his or her credit score, and earnings. Also, both of your financial values, many of which are outlined in "Love and Money: Your Guide to the Coupling of Finance and Romance," a no- cost, downloadable e-book at Moneymanagement.org.