Moving up relationship's expiration date

DEAR AMY: I've been dating a great guy for a year and a half, but he recently decided to pursue his dream of moving 1,000 miles away to attend graduate school. He's leaving in three months. We do not plan to continue with a long-

distance relationship after he is gone. A month ago, I met someone new. Under normal circumstances, I would never consider breaking off my current relationship or dating someone behind my partner's back. However, my current relationship has a definite expiration date. Would it be selfish to end things now? I care about my partner and would hate to hurt him, but is it time for me to move forward?Torn

DEAR TORN: I don't know if it is time for you to move forward. You obviously want to, but you seem to want assurance that this will be easy, prudent and low-drama. Breakups don't generally work this way, even when there is an "expiration date." Breaking up now would only be seen as "selfish" if you truly believed that the prospect of your boyfriend spending another three months with you (while you watch the clock waiting for the relationship to end) would be a lifetime gift to him.

Your partner is acting in his self-interest to leave town. You can act in your own self-interest by supporting his choice and letting him go -- just a little sooner than later.

Just don't be sneaky about it.

DEAR AMY: "Not-so-empty-nester" wondered what to do with all of his daughter's possessions after she moved away from home, post-college.

Here's what my folks did when they faced the same issue: On every visit to their children's homes, just before they left to return home, they would present us with a neatly packed box labeled "John's stuff" or "Mary's stuff." It took several years, but they managed to successfully return our possessions to us in a way that was manageable.

Grateful Son